"I Am Enough"

Is the common saying "I am enough" true? Designed to counter negativity, haters and crushing expectations, is it effective or is it like giving a Red Bull to someone dying of thirst?

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

One of the practises of the church since the beginning, has been the confession of sin, both to God and to others. It acknowledges that I’ve made mistakes, and not lived how God wants me to. It is commanded throughout the Scriptures. For example “confess your sins to each other” (James 5:16). And: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” ‭‭(1 John‬ ‭1‬:‭8‬-‭9).

Confession is also modelled throughout the scriptures. In the Old Testament, in the magisterial Psalm 51, King David confronts his adultery, murder and multiple failures head-on. It is a spiritual soliloquy given trembling, not before an audience, but before God himself. In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul tells us he is the worst of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15).

The churches I have been part of over the years have each had moments in the service (often if not every week) where we confess our sins corporately—with set prayers said in unison. 

Confession acknowledges our responsibility for our own mistakes. It then looks away from us to God’s mercy. 

A modern confession

However, I’ve noticed there is a new and modern form of confession. It is conveyed in a phrase I hear everywhere—“I am enough” (or its second person version—“you are enough”).

From what I can see, the phrase has a certain meaning and context. It often conveys something like: “There may be imperfections in me: in my appearance, in my past, in my present, in my relationships, in my lifestyle, in my moral record. (That is the confession). But in spite of that, I’m OK. I’m worthy of love and respect. And I am no longer listening to anyone who thinks otherwise.”

On the face of it, it seems uncontroversial. It seems like a healthy message for those who are struggling with low self-worth and tempted to ‘check out’ from life. And let’s face it, that’s all of us at times; although for some, such feelings are far more prominent.

Part of the problem with writing this in an open forum, where anyone may read it, is there are no doubt people reading who feel very ashamed. Some have been made to feel ashamed about themselves.

You may have had friends, colleagues, parents or strangers, intentionally or otherwise make you feel like you’re not worthy of participation—like you’re “not enough”. 

There are the worst examples too. Unspeakable ones. Abuse, belittlement, racism, sexism, bullying, gaslighting, leading to traumas of many kinds. 

For the things we can’t change…

So it’s fairly clear: there are many facets of life where the phrase “I am enough” is useful. When it comes to things we can’t change (appearance, skin colour, genetics, gender, gifts, opportunities)—we do well to echo the mantra: “You are enough”. 

Said in this context, it is tightly connected to the Christian idea of the fact we’re made in the “image of God” (Genesis 1:27). In that respect we have inestimable value and worth. We are the most precious creatures on earth.

Much of who we are comes down to the hand we are dealt by nature and nurture. Many of our qualities and aptitudes are the things that make us, us. In fact, wanting to change many of these personal features, is a tragedy. Such a desire likely arises from discriminatory expectations dreamed up by society, or other people. Stopping our ears to hatred is a worthwhile move.

So, if the purpose of the phrase is to give humiliated people back a God-given dignity, the intention couldn’t be better. For the things we can’t change, the phrase is helpful.

For the things we can change…

But what about the things we can change? What about our decisions, our moral compass, our attitudes, and our words. Does—“I am enough”—go deep enough to be helpful?

Aiming to quench the thirst of someone found wandering in the desert is a good desire. But doing so with an energy drink rather than with water will only leave the person wanting more and perhaps feeling worse. 

Will the phrase “I am enough” have the same effect on people, when it comes to how we live our lives? When it comes to the things we are responsible for, and which we can change—it is a saying with some problems.

How much is enough?

Traditionally accompanying the Christian practise of confession is the absolution. These are the words uttered by the leader over the congregation. They are words based on the promises of God to forgive. 

For example, one Anglican absolution goes: 

“Almighty God, our heavenly Father, who in his great mercy has promised forgiveness of sins to all those who with heartfelt repentance and true faith turn to him: have mercy on you, pardon and deliver you from all your sins, confirm and strengthen you in all goodness, and bring you to everlasting life, through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Sometimes the 1 John verse I quoted earlier is also used: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness”.

Christianity leaves you in no doubt. Genuinely ask for God’s mercy in Jesus, and you’ll receive it. 

The phrase “I am enough” is like a secular confession and absolution all-in-one. The confession is assumed, not stated explicitly. The sense is: “I acknowledge my moral imperfections, duh!” The absolution is that in spite of it all: “I am enough.”

One tragedy of “I am enough” said in this manner, is that most people don’t believe everyone can say it. The so-called toxic people. Those with gross misconduct. Those who’ve gone too far. I don’t hear these people being invited to take up the phrase. 

It seems to be a phrase for minor offenders. Those who slip up, rather than those who stuff up. It is for those who make respectable mistakes. It is for “normal people”. It’s for people who’ve made peace with their regular foibles.

To this way of thinking, the question then becomes: how have I performed? Have I kept myself from the worst, most anti-social sins?

Or: How much is really enough? 90%? 70% 20% Surely not 0.005%?

Christian confession

The most amazing thing about a Christian confession is that it is received by a God of love. That allows us to make a full and honest assessment of ourselves whether we’ve lived at 90% enough, or 0.00001% enough and a long way from the mark. (Note: I don’t actually believe any such percentage ranking exists).

However we’ve made mistakes, we can acknowledge that we deserve nothing from God. “We are not worthy to pick up the crumbs from under your table,” is how the Book of Common Prayer puts it. And yet God says to the confessor, “although you condemn yourself, and others may condemn you, and the community may reject you, and objectively you could be condemned in the divine court, I will show mercy. Your sin is no longer on your back, but on Jesus’ back at the cross.” 

The Christian practise of confession is falling away in an agnostic world. That is where the secular version swoops in. Instead of a God who loves and forgives, we now are invited to love and accept ourselves.

Even so, the God who is there stands willing to take us just as we are—without self-justification or self-explanation. The liberty of this is captured well in the song Amazing Grace (note the bold showing words of confession, and the italics showing words of Christ’s mercy):

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see.